is it void? No it's just what I feel

What is this feeling?

Is this hate or ignorance

Can't be love? Right. 

Fiddling a deck of cards.

-but I am no magician. 

Looking at the missing clock in the wall. 

I wish it was different. 

"How different? "

To not wonder "what am i doing? "

Exhausted of this feeling. 

Can it stop but not like my heart stops beating.